Letting Go

I let go of my record album collection several years ago. Of all the items I’ve let go of, my beloved albums were the most difficult. They defined a good portion of my life. From my very first Beatles album (Something New) to my favorite Beatles album (Revolver) to my musical mentor Joni Mitchell, to the eclectic sounds of Frasier and Debolt, to the intense beauty of John Coltrane. Each album described a piece of my life.

I procrastinated for years about these albums. I couldn’t imagine life without them. Never mind that I hadn’t listened a single one of them for many years. In fact, I hadn’t owned a working turn table since well before the turn of the century!

The realization

The final motivation for this purge came when I decided I needed to clear space in my house. I was headed into bi-lateral knee replacement surgery and everything—I mean EVERYTHING (I tend to go to extremes)—needed to be cleared out so I could use a walker in my house (even though my album collection was tucked away in a closet!).

It was an arduous job. Just dragging those heavy crates out of the closet and into the light of day required muscle. I reviewed, sorted, reminisced, and cried over them but eventually was able to lug them, small container by small container, into the back of my car for distribution. It took me several months to go through this process. I sold what had monetary value and donated the remainder.

The payoff

Several young people at the donation-station were very excited to see Beatle albums (so worn that the record store didn’t want them). They gathered around my boxes of albums to ooo and ahh at all this “vintage” music.  I felt like quite the sage-music-guru, for that brief moment.

And guess what happened. I went home and felt lighter, fresher, and happier than I’d felt in a long time. I put something that was important to me out into the universe, let it go, passed it on and, in this case, received instant gratification (who doesn’t want to be a sage-music-guru).

The work

Today, as I’m noticing how I’m feeling refreshed (finally) after a two-week heavy metal dietary cleanse (started about a month ago), I see how helpful it can be for me to let go. Not all the time, but when the time is right. Just like our minds have difficulty letting go, so our bodies do. But once that letting go happens, what a delight it is. I’m beginning to see that I cannot control how that delight happens, nor can I control when. I just need to create the fertile ground for the delight to germinate. And, my experience tells me that I must pay attention, or I will miss that moment.

This brings to mind a portion of a prayer, I, and many of my like-minded friends, say when we find ourselves grasping for stuff, control, and outcome: “Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do thy will…”

Our job is to let go. The rest takes care of itself.